Haiku – Day three

This might be a bit tough this morning, my boy, who I call on the blog “Cletus” (which suggests totally what he isn’t, but is a private joke), decided to wake my wife and I up several times last night. I had a bit of stomach discomfort to go with it, so was up for half the night. I have a foggy head this morning. So excuses aside, here is day three of haiku, tomorrow I will likely write on something else.

For a good example of some Haiku blog posting, check out this post “Raining Haikus” by Eric Alagan and The Writennubbin.

Today as he has already cast his small shadow on the days writing attempts, I let Cletus (it does sound daft doesn’t it?) point at some things to use as writer prompts. So the three things I got were :

  1. Vegas (he pointed at a commercial)
  2. Writers digest (I think he wanted to grab it but there was not anything I could add to that, other than to say no you cannot, and thanks).
  3. Sock (he is obsessed with pulling his socks off, and chewing on them).

So I must thank my son for these prompts and at this point inform him he might not be invited back for a second attempt anytime soon. Although we shall see how we get on with these ones. Once again, note these are totally off the top of my head, no prior thoughts given to the word list or the poems themselves. So here is the first (actually I was just about to give each one a title based on the word prompt then recalled that Haiku tends not to have a title):

Vacuum of my soul

Come to warm my addled brain

Las Vegas I’m here

Some commentary on the fakeness of Vegas (but not the fun)? I’m not sure about that one. So onto the next:

Spring forth your tips now

You helped me Writers Digest

You gave me Haiku

So ok, I got that one in (Writers Digest I mean). I kind of like to keep to the classical 5-7-5 syllable rule if at all possible. It is fun challenge to fit that. I imagine if you gave this a lot more thought about the language, that aside from challenging and fun, you may be able to come up with something really good. Getting something with layered language and fitting the form, more work required? A moment of inspiration? I realise this may be obvious, I’m thinking out loud.

You keep my feet warm

No you flop, shake, and chew well

My damp little sock

So there is a little tribute to my son who likes to play with his socks. As a small example of choosing the right word, the second line almost started with “but”. However I thought “No” had a more jarring effect. Of course I realise I might have been able to come up with something better, given more thought, I’m certainly not trying to claim I’m an expert, I’m learning, I’m just adding some small observation.

What lessons have I learned in the three days thus far? Well Poetry and me, at least in this form have gotten to know each other a bit more. I shall certainly take more notice of Haiku in the future, where as in the past there would be no more than a passing read, and little thought to content or form. I’ve a long way to go in terms of other poetry but this is a start. Thinking of the language and form is fun, stimulating, and a good writing exercise.

Lexicon word of the day: Perdurable.

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3 comments on “Haiku – Day three

  1. Roisin12 says:

    Summer pavement heat

    Burns the bottom of my feet

    And it makes me leap

  2. Hello says:

    Gift of pure sweet love

    Love you December baby

    Again we find love

  3. Eric Alagan says:

    For some reason my earlier comment did not come through – better luck this time 🙂

    That is very generous of you to mention our haikus – Jeannie and I were having fun and did not realise that many appreciated it so much.

    Thank you and all good wishes, Eric

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