Poem 3

This poem thing, is kind of interesting. I now have a bit of an writing itch as regards poetry. I have previously and briefly discussed how finding the ideas of what to write a poem about is a bit of a trial, more so actually, than writing the poem itself. The actual writing I can try things and re-edit, but if I know the subject, I have a baseline to work from.

Anyway it has become clear to me on the first two poems and some other ideas I have, that I’m currently in a cycle loosely themed around “what a life might amount to”. Mostly this comes from looking at my 15 month old son and wondering who he might be. He really could be anyone. At this age we know little about what he will be interested in, what skills he might have, whether he is a good learner or a slow one. It is up to my wife and I to try and teach him some knowledge of the world, give him the right encouragement, and hopefully opportunities to do something good, worthwhile, self fulfilling, or whatever positive thing you might have hopes for. But (as Mark Everett pointed out in his book “Things the grandchildren should know), “he could be Hitler”. Which is of course true, as I suspect Hitler’s parents were not thinking that their bundle of joy was in fact a bit evil, and that they would just kind of keep him away from other children until he was old enough to make his way into the world (also this is a half decent title for a poem). Thankfully it is also a bit unlikely, he could just as easily be a scientist, athlete, or regular pleb. We’ll do are best to try make sure he turns into a good person, but I’m sure you see my point.

So that is where I’m at with poetry right now. I’m thinking I will pursue this some more and try write some from a different palette in the future, but for the time being I’m going to keep with the current theme and see where it leads. I have a bunch of titles / prompts to start from. Some of these might be turn out to be a bit similar but I figure the trying and seeing approach is also where I’m at, and I shall go from there. Hopefully some of you who have read the earlier ones will stick with me, and it won’t be much of a painful process for you to do so. And without further fanfare:

Take a look

Little boy, look at your life
tell me what you see
did you walk, did you play
did you eat all day, did you climb from bended knee?

Old man, look at your life
and tell me what you see
did you work, did you pray
did you eat today, did you sink to bended knee?

Little boy gotta learn those skills
bring yourself to the fore
your knees are red, don’t bang that head
get around, stand, walk, explore

Old man can’t pay his bills
worked, sweated that factory floor
his fingers bled, for others bread
he still can’t close that door

Little boy ahead is your life
pick and choose your choices well
it might not all be easy son
but you can earn those tales to tell

Old man where went your life
what of those tales to tell
was it worth the toil, the missing spoil
a choice on which you dwell

Little boy it’s there for you
Old man it’s nearly gone
the choices make you who you are
when it’s all said and done

Ok. This one feels more like a song to me than a poem, not that I know exactly where the line between them is. It also feels a bit first draft, I had an idea and I don’t think this executed it in quite the way I was thinking. Or maybe I’m being a bit harsh. I may revisit this one in a week or so to make some changes.

Lexicon word of the day: tohubohu.


2 comments on “Poem 3

  1. Immediately came to mind several movie scenes wherein the son leaves home screaming at his father “I am not going to waste away my life in a coal mine(or lumber mill or shipyard) and wind up old never having done anything”. and out the door the lad goes. Never having done anything, eh? Well if you work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, feed your family, pay the bills , be a good father in the little free time you have and never had anything for yourself and never complained, I’d say dad did a lot with his life. Selfless to the end. Thanks visit my blog.

  2. mrbrainsplat says:

    Thanks for dropping by Carl. It’s funny you mention this because I had four or five different ways of doing this one, but as it is now seemed to fit at the time. However I only really consider this a first draft thing and it occurred to me after posting that I wanted to add something along those lines, a final verse of where the old mans choices came from (maybe circumstance).

    That said the idea was to play on the idea many seem to have these days that a career / money is a right rather than earned, or that the times are different, changing, and make good choices when you have the opportunity.

    I’m new to attempting poetry (and in an earlier post noted how I’m not a fan). I’m experimenting if you like, so perhaps it might work better as another poem in reply to this one.

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