The spammers reply (sort of)

A few days back I wrote a piece on Spammer jobs and daft spam. Oddly since then my spam seems to have increased. I’m beginning to think there might be a new layer to the job of the spammer. How to target the spam emails. Oh hang on a minute, a quick Google search shows that most spammers have a “Targeting department” which presumably means something similar to Marketing department, but in the lexicon of the spammer.

What do these people do? Does someone sit with wordpress open, reading the “freshly pressed” section jotting notes down such as “appears to be a guy, probably spends too much time typing at a blog and needs larger errections. Target with Cialis viagra and car insurance”. Or they find blogs and look at the number of likes or comments “this one doesn’t have much, send him a comment suggesting how useful this information was, and how many people will find it much of interest”. Indeed. So with that in mind, I got two spam posts yesterday, on the spammer posting itself. The first was from Viagra (promoting, oh you know):

“This is one of the best websites that I’ve ever seen. Check out viagra kopek. (link removed by me) I’ll subsribe to your website!”

I’m beginning to wonder what my blog is saying about me. Just get straight to the point, erm, Viagra. I can call you that right, it’s your real name? I bet people have fun pointing out how you’re called Viagra and you’re promoting Viagra, huh? Oh you’ve heard that one. Ok then… moving swiftly on. The next one was from Rodney (promoting good solar energy, so he sounds like a good lad):

“You completed several nice points there. I did a search on the subject matter and found the majority of people will go along with with your blog.”

Thanks Rodney, yes I did. And yet you spammed me anyway. Did you really agree, did you targeting department even read it? What were the keywords that made you want to post here? Let me guess. Were they “Spam” “bots” and “post”? Well the targeting departments have been working overtime in the last few days, I have loads of other comments, but I would like to share with you, one last “favourite”. This was posted to part one of my essay on “is the art of computer games underrated”:

“I have learn several excellent stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much attempt you put to make the sort of excellent informative web site.”

Ok sure. The amusing part (aside from the end of the sentence), –  it was posted by “Physics problems”. Well best be good at something huh?

Lexicon word of the day: Opprobrious.


13 comments on “The spammers reply (sort of)

  1. I addition to the standard pitch with variations they all seem to have a misused word here and there which indicates that the authors are not English speakers first and are relying on translators that don’t get the precise vocab or idiomatics of English and translations are literal.

    • Elliot says:

      I would think that is the case, they are just good to make fun of. I got this one this morning on the original spammers post which illustrates your point “There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also”.

  2. Jeannie says:

    I get viagra spam too…now what would ol’ granny want to do with that? I guess there are some grannies who would know…and where or where do the spammers pick up anything remotely related to this from my posts? Where’s Bob with his toothy grin…I could write a poem…LOL

    • Elliot says:

      It seems that everyone gets them. The thing I’m now beginning to wonder (I’m not even sure why) is whether this is the real product or just a fake one. Are the posts all from the same place? I’m intrigued to know if all this effort is for something or (more likely) just a big fraud.

  3. crubin says:

    I too had a pleasant spam message from Viagra this morning. The very generous penile enhancer told me “This is the best blog I have ever read.” Isn’t that just the sweetest?

  4. Dan says:

    I swear it’s something about WordPress. I hosted my blog for 7 years at Blogger and maybe got 2 spam comments. Less than a year at WordPress and it’s some phenomenally huge number in 4 digits.

    Most of them are just so dumb, but every now and again there’s a good one. What I miss are the spam e-mail subject lines that were just random words put together.

    • Elliot says:

      Is wordpress the biggest blog network, I don’t know? Maybe that’s why it is targeted more.

      I think the fact that they are often nonsensical means they are more tolerable. If they had perfect english, they would be just annoying.

      • Dan says:

        Agreed. Although they kind of bug me because they outnumber the real comments on my not-widely-read blog by about 1000:1. 😉

  5. Hmm… from our shared experiences here it seems that he/she/IT/ or whatever it is pushing Viagra, is an equal opportunity spammer, and is saturation Viagra spamming anyone or anything, regardless of gender, race, color, national origin, species, living or nonliving, and animate or inanimate objects. Proving that for spam, the ultimate marketing strategy of targeting everyone and everything universally, is the strategy of ultimately universal mindlessness.

    This reply generated by an actual living breathing human being – who enjoyed the humor of your post! Lol

  6. […] I think I have a pretty good Closing Line for the next Closing Line challenge, entirely inspired by this post by Elliot over at **–brain […]

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