Poem – Ha, love


For someone who didn’t really like poetry until recently, I sure seem to be coming up with a whole bunch of them if you include longer poems and the Haiku. If you happen to be interested, there is a menu option above that will provide some shortcuts. If you are not interested, obviously ignore. Anyhoo, here is another:

Ha, love

Theres a riot going on
down in the club tonight
Lizzie’s all dressed up
Johnny’s gonna make it a night

Johnny cast his eyes on Liz
met hers on the dance floor
weren’t much dancing going on
the gaze was somethin more

When the bolt slams down in you
better open up your eyes
your whole life gonna seem to change
ha love, what a surprise

Johnny worked a concrete truck
Lizzy ran a book store
when they touched each other hand to hand
went something much, much, more

Lizzie she was lost for words
Johnny held up at the lights
and as they spun around
they were each others, bang to rights

when that bolt slams down on you
better open up your eyes
your whole life gonna seem to change
ha love, what a surprise.

Ok it seems a bit light hearted (no bad pun intended), a little more like a song than a poem, but it seemed to fit. Marks out of 10, maybe a 6, or maybe I will re-evaluate later!

Have a good weekend.

Lexicon word of the day: modal.


20 comments on “Poem – Ha, love

  1. DyingNote says:

    Yup, more like a song, this – verse, verse, chorus…Good lead-in to the weekend 🙂

    • Elliot says:

      Yeah that one definitely seemed to lead itself in that direction,but I kind of like the idea of just throwing some of these things on the blog anyway.

  2. Jeannie says:

    It is rather like a song–and that’s OK by me 🙂 Now for some music….

    • Elliot says:

      I was thinking how it’s slightly odd how when starting and working on a small thing like this, that it can lead you rather than you lead it. This one seemed to work better more song like.

      • Jeannie says:

        I had a similar experience this week too (that creative wave thing again?) And the result was a poem that you would not associate with me (very new agey). My husband says it is good but whoa! I won’t even post it because it’s so out there…but it led me by the nose!

      • Elliot says:

        Are you sure you don’t want to post it? You could put an explanatory note like above about how it led you and this is what came out. You might get some interesting feedback.

      • Jeannie says:

        Nah…I’m a chicken. Bwaack!!

      • Elliot says:

        Chicken? Haven’t you seen Back to the Future 3?

        All you need to decide is whether you have anything to lose or not. If not, then just be brave and go for it.

      • Jeannie says:

        Ack! Elliot, you are right in what you say. You know what the bottom line is, right? I’m afraid it won’t be liked, it will be awful, it will change how people think of me, etc.

        I have a list as long as my arm…I fight the blasted fear thing all the time! Why it’s such an issue I don’t know…I’ll think some more on this today and let you know. I wish we had a “s–t” detector before pressing the publish button.

      • Elliot says:

        Well if you choose to post you can dress it up any way you please, e.g. an experiment, one totally different from usual,explain the story behind it, arm twisted behind your back, or anything.

        I was unsure about posting this one today but sometimes the posts I’m the most unsure with or maybe not quite happy with, get a larger response than some of the ones I hope do get a good response.

        Judging by who seems to comment on your blog, I suspect you will be fine if you choose to post it.

      • Jeannie says:

        OK…Sunday’s post. Full steam ahead!

        And I’m glad you posted yours today. It’s better than you thought! 🙂 Courage in action! Thanks Elliot.

      • Elliot says:

        You’re welcome. No pressure but I’m looking forward to it!

  3. “that bolt slams down on you” Now is that marriage’s jail cell or the one in the pokey ?

  4. The Lime says:

    I like it! And agree about the song comment.

  5. Do you do any song writing hon?

    Really liked it!


  6. good jangle of discussion here on poetry…

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