Monday Haiku and what I learned this weekend – 21 May 2012


This weeks weekend relevant prompts, for Monday Haiku are:

  1. 5.30 wake up call – On saturday morning, my son thought this was time to get up. I was in the process of getting him to sleep when the next point happened.
  2. Cat Miaow – The bl**dy cat decided to let out two long whiney miaows, catching my boys attention, waking him up again, and forcing me to chase her off with several expletives. The guilty party is pictured above.
  3. Sunday TV – Some of the seasons are getting towards the end now, but what a TV selection for a sunday evening: Mad men, Game of Thrones, Nurse Jackie, The Killing, Veep.

So here we go:

He really awake?

five thirty, time to get up

please go back to sleep

And the “sort of” part two.

Almost back to sleep

Nope! Miaow, I am the cat

Why, you little ***t!

And something completely different.

Sunday night schedule

Fabulous world of tv

but soon be monday

A sad ending to that last Haiku, I know. The double bonus Haiku this week is brought to you by two things. The first like a fortnight ago, from Mrs Rubin of The Write Transition, and her “Awful offspring offal”. The second came from a phrase I typed into the comment box of this post on Harper Faulkner’s fab blog. I put the words “I did feel a bit of a tit” then later realised that he might not understand it, as english slang for “I felt a bit of an idiot” in the context of it being a bit embarrassing. So it had the more obvious meaning. Anyhoo, if naughty words might offend, jump past the dotted lines segment.


Hi! What is your name?

the name tells me who you are

I’m vagina nuts

and the other:

In the wrong place, I

did feel a tit at the time

bulbous error mine


Things I learned this weekend:

  • At 5.30 on a saturday morning my boy will go back to sleep. But not unaided. And not with the help of the cat.
  • Ok this isn’t the last LFC update for a while. This week they fired the manager and LFC legend (perhaps their best ever player in his day), King Kenny Dalglish. This was mainly for the league results. They also got rid of a few other management staff and have begun the process of replacing them. It is both scary and exciting to see what changes occur this summer. It could go either way.
  • I really didn’t want Chelsea to win the champions league final. But they did. And much as I hate to admit it, you’ve got to respect their never say die attitude. Keep going, keep going.
  • “The Shins” appeared on “Yo Gabba Gabba”
My spam has dropped right off this week, and there are not any entries I like for the  “Spam of the week“, so no-one wins the fabulous prize (of being posted here).
Have a fun week.

Lexicon word of the day: bullyrag.


15 comments on “Monday Haiku and what I learned this weekend – 21 May 2012

  1. Sunday night schedule

    Fabulous world of tv

    but soon be monday

    The best part of retirement is no more Sunday afternoon to Monday to work anxiety and blues. 33 years of it. Now I don’t need to care what day it is !

  2. crubin says:

    What a wonderfully entertaining blog post to start my blog-reading day. I loved all of those Haiku–probably for the bit of snark they all contained. Really good stuff, and thanks so much for the mention. My teenage son is getting around–and not in a way I have to worry about. But I don’t think I’ll share the expression “I feel a bit of a tit” with him. I’ll never hear the end of that one…

    I do not miss those days of early awakenings from children. Of course, I still get up before six am to work out before getting the kids off to school, but it’s different when it’s of your own volition. I hope kitty is once again back in your good graces.

    • Elliot says:

      Thanks Carrie – Cat is in the bad books after whining about 5.30 this morning, and waking the boy up again, although he must have been tired as he went back to sleep on his own. It was nearly a close call.

      The phrase is not so much “feel a bit” more “felt like a tit” which I assume originates in it “being a bit useless” similar to “tits on a bull”, but more often refers to that in an embarrassing situation. It sounded funnier in the context of the comment, especially when Harper misunderstood.

      • crubin says:

        It sounds funny to me either way. I bet Harper had a good laugh over that one.

      • Harper is too busy to laugh. He is too busy trying to understand Elliot’s hiakus. None of them rhyme! However, he does have good taste in television or as they say in the UK, the telly. Also, I believe Elliot lives next to “that Bucket woman.” I can see him peeking out the window to make sure Hyacinth is not outside! Also, I imagine he shops at Grace’s Department Store. All I know about GB, I learned from Are You Being Served and Keeping Up Appearances. (Neither show mentioned tits, although, I believe twits were mentioned.) All joy. HF

      • Elliot says:

        Haiku is all about the syllables (the 5-7-5 structure). I would be lost if I had to make them rhyme.

        It sounds like you are watching PBS. You must also have seen “Last of the summer wine”, or as it is often known “Three men in a bathtub”. That’s what we make our older generation do in the UK!

  3. Jeannie says:

    I don’t worry about Monday’s either because I’m an old “kept” woman 🙂
    …who happens to be very glad that early morning wake-up calls are a thing of the past (except when I’m babysitting grandkids). 😉

    Hope your Monday is a good one Elliot! xox

    • Elliot says:

      I always tell my wife that she ruined my plan to marry a rich woman and laze around the house all day eating chocolate.

      I don’t mind the odd early wake up, but over the last week he seems to have developed a habit of waking up early, and that moggy didn’t help!

  4. Ann Marquez says:

    Your cat is my Lily!!! They are a purrrfect match! (Well Lily is a female) But how bout that coincidence?
    What fun! 😀 Your post and comments…
    Hey, what about “twit” ?
    BTW – I’m passing on some blogging awards to you before I go into a much needed long term hibernation. I’m still working on the post … will post by [sometime] tonight. So don’t forget to check it out.
    I’ll still lurk around the blogosphere to keep up with everyone but won’t have a lot of time for a while. Best of luck to you 😀

    • Elliot says:

      I would hazard a guess that your cat is more friendly. Mine gives some leg rubs but if you go to stroke her back gives about 5 seconds before she politely tells you to clear off. With the exception of my 17 month old son that is. Oddly, but also thankfully, she doesn’t care about him patting, stroking, leaning in to her, running around her, at all, and if she does, she just moves away. If she sticks out a paw, it is claw free with him.

      I shall say thank you now then for the awards, and congratulations on getting them yourself. I have a couple of others to deal with from a few weeks back as well, so I shall roll them up into one post. I shall also be cutting my posts down soon to around 3 or 4 a week, giving me a little more time to work on other projects. All the best on the hibernation period.

      • Ann Marquez says:

        Now that I look at the pic again, our cats aren’t exactly clones but close. And that’s interesting about him with your baby. Lily lived with my son and his wife while they were expecting Jake, and Lily was so patient. She knew she needed to stay away and then kind of hung around waiting for Jake to grow up so she could pall around with him. But I ended up with her anyhow. Not because of Jake though. She is the sweetest, most gentle loving girl. BUT she and Baily (other cat) HATE each other and I have them divided up in the house. Check out the “cat door” I built to keep them separate (in my archives) if you get a chance. Cats really, really take things personal. Lily wouldn’t let me touch her yesterday eve because I didn’t sit down with her to have my coffee yesterday morn.

        Anyhow, good luck with your projects. I hope to return some day … might pop in a photo now and then. But so much for multitasking, right? 😀

  5. jmmcdowell says:

    Cats being the somewhat devious creatures that they are, yours may now decide to speak up regularly at 5:30 am! I’m sure they delight in driving humans over the edge. 🙂

    • Elliot says:

      This cat wasn’t even ours, it was my mother in law’s cat but somehow we ended up with her. She seems to go through phases of early morning noise making then gives up on it again.

  6. DyingNote says:

    That cat of your reminds me of the Simon’s cat series, the ‘Cat Man Do’ episode in particular. Have you seen it?

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