My week in haiku and other assorted nonsense – 03 Sep 2012

“Erm…. have you seen the tree….”

Two bits of news to begin with:

  1. Contrary to what I said last week, I have updated the Monday post a little. Now instead of focusing on the weekend I shall use the prior week as a focus. It allows me more time to write these ahead of monday, but also a chance to better extend my prompts. “Bonus Haiku” (see below) will be a regular feature but not every week, sometimes being replaced by a rant, or mini review. Although I call the post Haiku, it may be a mix of Haiku (5/7/5 syllable lines) and Tanka (5/7/5/7/7 syllable lines).
  2. I have a new paying gig, starting tuesday mostly for standard day hours. I’m not sure yet if it will affect the blog, it might not, but it will impact the times I respond to comments, or read / comment on other blogs. We shall see how it goes.

So, this Mondays “review of the week” prompts are:

  • Tree fall (Haiku) – Thursday morning we looked out of our kitchen window to find a large tree branch had come down blocking in our older car. Thankfully it didn’t cause it any damage other than a minor dent you can barely see. Luckily no-one was walking under it when it happened (it is near a public path). As it was a city owned tree, they had to sort it out, and sort it out quickly they did. By 9.30 am, you would never have known anything had happened. The best bit was when the police CSI turned up to take pictures incase we wanted to make a claim for damage from the city.
  • LFC transfers (Haiku) – What is happening with Liverpool transfer club. Good new manager. Positive and entertaining style of play. Many senior players from the squad trimmed. Some good signings. More players around the squad trimmed, no real replacements = A decent core of the squad, but a little thin, and not enough cover up front. The result of last summer’s wasteful spending? A good chance for some of our youth to break in?
  • Mitt Romney (Tanka) – Crikey this guy seems an utter twonk. There is something about him that doesn’t ring true. A fair part of his campaign seems to be lying about the facts over the last four years, yet somehow people seem to be trusting the guy. I just don’t get it. Obama hasn’t been brilliant, but a fair amount of that is out of his control, and many of his policies are working including job creation. They are just working slowly. Many people do not seem to realise that the American economy is now somewhat tied to the rest of the world, which isn’t doing too great either in a lot of places. Surely more people with healthcare in the “caring American society” is a good thing right? Also I hope this story that “Mitt’s family baptised his wife’s atheist father after his death” isn’t true. When they cannot even respect the wishes of a close family member. What chance do the rest of us have if he gets in?

So here we go:

Oh branch looking low

Oh do show us how you grow

Crash down next to car

Unexpected, but thankfully I didn’t need it (the car) that morning.

LFC transfers

Fail to give ideal cover

Too big risks for team?

Something doesn’t seem entirely right there, although. there are many positives.

Wife tell them I’m good

Parents, show what I have learned

I be President?

Listen! Me best at business

Mom give me sick note if fail

Look at Mitt, and imagine him with his finger on the button. Yes that button….

This section is going to sometimes be “Bonus Haiku” (see last mondays post) i.e. A bit ruder or more adult haiku, OR a rant about something. This week it is a rant:


This week I was unfortunate enough (again) to see some of the TLC show “Four Weddings”. The brief is four annoying (by being a part of the show), women who are getting married, invite the other three to their wedding, to give marks on various aspects of it. At the end the scores are totted up and the winning couple win a big honeymoon trip. This show bothers me for the following reasons:

  • That people would stoop that low to get some extra cash for the wedding.
  • That they would be comfortable having tv cameras there.
  • That you would want three bints blabbing on about various aspects of your wedding.
  • That the most expensive weddings tend to do better where as the lower cost weddings tend to “look cheap” in places. So there is accounting for taste huh?
  • That allowing someone to grade your wedding is surely pointless anyway. Weddings are supposed to be an individual thing based on the bride and grooms taste, and how much money they are willing to spend on it. To put it a different way, some people might prefer a better honeymoon.
  • That someone thought that this wasa good idea for a show.
  • That someone watches it (regularly – neat caveat huh?).


What I learned this weekend

  • LFC got into the Europa League proper, lost against Arsenal after playing fairly well, and made a hash of the transfer window. They are down to a good but pretty thin squad and are really short on strikers.
  • If a tree looks to be hanging a bit low, it might not be because it has grown a lot, and might be because it is making other moves.
  • CSI turn up for a tree down, ha, ha.
  • Disney’s California land or whatever it is called (the other side of Disney land), isn’t the best for tots, although my son sure did love running around in the water, in the “Bugs life” section.
  • The new “Cars” ride also looks cool from the scaletrix style track to the Grand Canyon lookalike style peaks with subtle but clever perspective effects.
  • I have a potentially good short story project with some really good short story ideas in it.

Have a nice “Labor day” (if in the US), and a nice week.

Lexicon word of the day: Quatrain.


15 comments on “My week in haiku and other assorted nonsense – 03 Sep 2012

  1. Oooooo, what’s the new paying gig honey?


  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    Congrats on the job. Hope it turns out well for you. And great poems this week. I think the CSI thing is hilarious. Who knew? As for the “Four Weddings” show? I didn’t even know it existed. I think that should be a mark in my favor. 🙂

    • Elliot says:

      Thanks – job means a change, but obviously more loot in.

      The CSI thing was funny for me also. I sneaked a picture with my phone for some facebook friends.

      I think TLC specialises in stupid shows (actually I think 100 pound testicle man might have been on that channel as well, but I could be wrong). Whilst seeing some of this wedding show the other day I saw a commercial for a show following cojoined twins. Question is, should I watch?

      • Carrie Rubin says:

        Okay, I’ll admit, the conjoined twin one sounds interesting. Hopefully the producers won’t exploit the situation. But a “100 pound testicle man”? I don’t even know what to think about that one. Well, other than maybe “ouch.”

      • Elliot says:

        I don’t know why because I know what it really is, but when I saw the commercial, into my brain popped “it’s a person with two heads”. That is the damage TLC does.

  3. jmmcdowell says:

    TLC should be forced to drop “The Learning Channel” if that’s still used. The Exploitation Channel would be more appropriate. Nope, I don’t watch it.

    I hope the new job works out and won’t impact your writing and blogging too negatively.

    The baptism is possibly true. The LDS church allows baptism of those who lived before. The records they’ve microfilmed from across the world make it easier for their members to trace their family history and baptize their ancestors. They also make those microfilms of records available to the genealogical public (for a nominal fee). Before the internet and sites like, they allowed someone in California, for example, access to historic, civic, and court records from many countries in Europe. Much less expensive research than traveling to the ancestral countries.

    • Elliot says:

      Oh that is what TLC stands for. That is funny, most of the shows from what I have seen via channel flicking or commercials, hardly seem to be educational.

      Thanks – I guess I can only see what happens with the job but if necessary I will cut the posts to two a week. I pretty much have Wednesday’s and Saturday’s done for this week already.

      That is interesting about the baptism but I still hope it isn’t true. Does it work in reverse? Can someone declare him an atheist after he dies?

  4. I can’t stand the four weddings show. It’s such a blatant conflict of interest for 4 competitors to score each other.

  5. Eric Alagan says:

    A paying gig…with real moolah too! That’s cool/swell/stupendous – take your pick. What the heck, be a politician – take them all 🙂

  6. Anne says:

    Love it! You’re quite talented. X

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