Poem – Knights and Demons

(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

A few weeks ago, I wrote a poem using a 15 minute deadline, called “Nights and Demons“. I thought it turned out quite well. However I had actually misheard the prompt idea, which was “knights and demons”, which was no big deal, but naturally I figured that I should give that a go as well.

So here it is, again with a 15 minute time limit to see what I can come up with:

Knights and Demons

When he rode upon the beast he stopped
And looked, with amazement said
“F*ck me, that is a big beast”
And it was
And he didn’t know what to do
And he thought he might die this time

When he first rode over a hill
And saw his first dark creature
It popped his cherry with a well received lance
And it did
cover him in a release of blood
And he thought this might be the birth of him

When he was received as a knight of the realm
And became the shield against demons
He wondered in which pungent place
And why it was
that he chose to live his life this way
and he didn’t say no

When he was asked why he chose to kill to live
and he did not know what to say
he merely considered it being told
and a man must make choices
and it was
and it did

When he rode nearer the beast he stopped
and thought of all of those things
then he paused to observe
and he came up with a plan
that is what a good knight does
and this knight, he faced the demon

This might have been a few minutes over 15 in truth, but not many more. Actually I quite like this one. It seems interesting to me. But I can also think of some improvements. What do you think?

Lexicon word of the day: ductility.
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13 comments on “Poem – Knights and Demons

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    I think this is the Showtime version of “15 minute deadline” poetry, especially the first two paragraphs. 😉

    • Elliot says:

      This one definitely had a life when I got to that second line. It is interesting (to me anyway) that line with the naughty word. It positions the whole thing in a different place.

      But then I prefer the last few verses to the opening.

  2. Margarita says:

    Not where I expected the imagery to go. Very nice!

  3. Something about the last two lines of the 3rd and 4th verses stand out to me – I like the way they read and feel and move. I’m unsure how I would do with timed poetry – may have to try this!

    • Elliot says:

      Thanks Sheila. I like the end to the last three verses from the thing as a whole. As I wrote them they had me thinking of various things beyond what they are here. Also it positioned the knight as not so much a hero, but a bloke doing a job that he is right for but wondering what it is he does, and why.

      I say the 15 minute thing is worth a go. Personally I don’t feel pressured by it, it focuses me, but at the same time it is like 15 minutes of freedom to “just do this”. Plus it can be interesting to see what comes out with this snapshot of time.

  4. jmmcdowell says:

    You had me laughing with “F*ck me, that is a big beast” !! 🙂

    I don’t remember reading such dialogue from knights in the old medieval romances, but you know, your version is probably more accurate. We know “f*ck” goes back that far!

    • Elliot says:

      Well I’m glad you liked it. The line amused me when I thought of it, but I decided to go with it and that kind of brought the rest with it. I don’t think I can do straight forward heros and villains, there has to be something more for me.

      Anyhoo, if he didn’t use this word, there was probably some guttural equivalent.

      Now I think about it, he puts me in mind of a plumber who turned up and realized the leak was “a bit bigger than you described on the phone”.

  5. Anne says:

    Where did you get the idea for this prompt? Good for just over 15 mins xoxo

  6. Smaktakula says:

    First of all, sorry for my lateness (I wrote a post saying I’d stop apologizing for that…). Secondly, that’s a pretty nice piece of work for a quarter of an hour. Thirdly, I usually enjoy your “word-of-the-post” but today’s was one I didn’t know at all. That’s cool.

    • Elliot says:

      No need to apologise, I’m struggling to get time to read other blogs myself right now. Other things are priority.

      Anyhoo, thanks, I thought it turned out ok in the time limit. I did kind of have an idea which track it would take before I started, but from then on it just went where it went.

      I didn’t know that word either.

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