The Monday Mess – 15 Oct 2012

Boom! This Monday, “My week in Haiku” is taking a break in favour of a this similar but new thing which I shall call for now “The Monday mess“. I’m calling it this so I can chuck a bit of whatever in. Why the change? Because I am a bit bored of the other thing and I fancied a change. “The Monday mess” can be a bit of whatever I want to throw in, and nothing specific. Writing without boundaries? Yeah right, so in the spirit of the old thing, let’s start with a bit of news:

Umm, cannot think of much actually… Umm I got a new iPad cover with bluetooth keyboard. It is fab for typing stuff with, or quicker than me on the screen anyway, and um….

moving swiftly on then…

Three things that ought to be simple, but are actually difficult to explain:

  1. There is a couple who live further up our street who share the same first name. Not literally of course, one doesn’t borrow it when a friend pops round and wants to address them. It is merely the same first name. That must have made it easy to remember when they met. The name could be Lesley. It isn’t, but for these purposes let’s assume it is. The question is, how come when we’re in our house and I see them walking down the street, I can only remember one of their names? I say to my wife, “there is Lesley and whatever his wife’s called”. She replies “That’s Lesley. They are both called Lesley. I wonder if they call each other Les and Lesley?”. I go get a snack instead of replying, and forget about it until next time.
  2. How is it that when I type on the ipad screen, I seem to grow an extra pair of thumbs? They’re not even any use. I can’t climb trees of anything with them. They just stop me typing quickly. I had to get a bluetooth keyboard for typing blog stuff. What is the point of those? And why does the width of my fingers increase when typing on the iPhone screen?
  3. White socks. Um why do far two many American men wear white socks with, you know, everything. Black trousers, great. White socks, check. Why do it? Who knows. Do their women not tell them they are not color coordinated like mine does. Or do they ignore them? – Sunny day, lets wear some shorts. How about some nice white socks to cover your legs with. Oh man, what is this country coming to?

If you see this thing, avoid it…
(image from morgueFile – click to be taken there)

Without Haiku there is instead “Nonet”:

Which I borrowed for an attempt from my good friend Writers Digest. Nine lines, first line with nine syllables and dropping a syllable each line until the final ninth line has only one. Well it has got to be worth a go. And for that I need a prompt. In a stupid attempt to look clever, I am going to use the three things mentioned above. Ho hum, so here we go:

I see, but do not know, two Leslies

as I thumb at my ipad’s keys

What is his name? What is hers?

Why can I not type it?

or decipher it?

Perhaps the shorts

Green. But socks

they are


Yup, and that is it. Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: Is taking the day off. No it isn’t try – roustabout.


23 comments on “The Monday Mess – 15 Oct 2012

  1. Love the “nonet” I had never heard of such a thing. Good post, and I can identify with the thumb thing.

    • Elliot says:

      Thanks – I had never heard of it either until it was in Writers Digest. The origins are unknown. I figured it was worth a go though. All part of the writing fun πŸ™‚

  2. legionwriter says:

    My iPhone screen is miniature in my meat hooks.

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    It’s the white socks with sandals and shorts that gets me. Never a good look.

  4. I hate the men in white socks thing. I think it’s part of their childhood and they refuse to let go of it. All boys grow up wearing those white sweat socks with jeans and for athletics. They just can’t seem to let them go as they journey into adulthood. And the white sock and sandals and shorts–cringeworthy.

    • Elliot says:

      I have to admit, the white socks thing is something the UK folks like to laugh at Americans for wearing / doing. I’m torn between it being horrific and “do your own thing”. Probably the former!

  5. jmmcdowell says:

    Typing on my Kindle gives me similar problems and headaches. No smart phone, so at least I don’t have to deal with “damnyouautocorrect” type texts. πŸ™‚

    I can’t explain the white socks. Maybe Kourtney’s right and it’s a childhood carryover…. But sandals and socks should be against the law β€” no matter what Birkenstock wants us to believe!

    • Elliot says:

      The autocorrect probably helps more than it hinders but the occasional hindrance can be annoying – I know, poor old me! In the grand scheme of things it is a nice thing to complain about.

      The white socks on the other hand…

  6. It does seem strange when you meet a couple that share the same name – can you imagine how confusing it is for doctor’s offices to keep up their charges? What if they send the mammogram charge over to the male Leslie? Insurance would keep that one tied up for months before they paid it!

    • Elliot says:

      I had not thought of that. I was thinking about a grumpy relative phone calling. “I don’t want you… I want the other one”.

      Or when they met “Hey I’m called Leslie too”..

      Yup. Great.

  7. “I got a new iPad cover with bluetooth keyboard” I totally need one. Note taking at the moment involves speedily scribbling illegibly in a notebook until my hand nearly falls off, thinking it would be better to bring my iPad to class. Wonder how I hook the bluetooth keyboard from my iMac up to my iPad….

    • Elliot says:

      I could be wrong but I think the ipad is quite smart at detecting mac compatible bluetooth keyboards. Just put your ipad with the bluetooth on near the keyboard, and switch that on. See what happens. I’m all thumbs when it comes to quick typing onscreen.

  8. DyingNote says:

    So, you did get into this ‘writer unbound’ business, eh? πŸ™‚ I like the ‘nonet’. I was about to ask you if it’s a structure of your creation, but you’ve already answered that. Can’t say I use the iPad (the problem exists for any tablet) for writing, but yes I do see where you’re coming from – which is why I don’t type on it

    • Elliot says:

      The ipad is needed now as I am not at home as much and the portability is brilliant. I’m just too much of a clumsy oaf to type quickly onscreen so the keyboard is useful from time to time.

      The nonet, I’m sure someone created that structure on the fly.

      • DyingNote says:

        Well, that makes it 2 clumsy oafs (or should that be oaves???) then πŸ™‚ I’m no good at typing on the screen – one of the problems is that there are too many key presses sometimes to get to what you want to type since it’s not a full-size keypad

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