Poem – in a room

(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

I seem to like the 15 minute exercise of writing a poem in, well, in 15 minutes. I have done several others, the last being “Knights & Demons“. Here is another. I had the prompt idea of a man in a room, and below is what I came up with within the alloted time limit. The title came with it, although that part didn’t take much brain stretching. More a Brain splat. Oh yeah, the name of the blog. See it all clicks into place. Sort of.

The blurb around the poem, i.e. this, was not included in the 15 minutes.

in a room

in a room somewhere sits a man
staring through four grey walls
wondering why he exists here, and waiting
for the call that will come
to tell him if he won, and escaped

in a musty room sits a man, who taps a table
with a left index finger
pushing buttons in his mind
such unease in his stomach
tells a story of why he wants to leave
when his money is in the square box
and the odds are against him
it is all in to win

In a room sits a man
who turns to face another wall
and stares straight through

So there it is. Not sure what to make of this now. I may revisit in a few weeks and rethink.Β Any thoughts?
Lexicon word of the day: pedagogic.

18 comments on “Poem – in a room

  1. rtd14 says:

    I think the poem is exactly what it needs to be: simple and powerful! Good job.

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    I feel a little claustrophobic now, so I’d say you’ve done your job well!

    • Elliot says:

      I think thats because you are trapped next to your keyboard, waiting for distraction πŸ™‚

      I’m not sure about this one so I’ll take any compliment I can get – thanks!

  3. It’s one of those pieces that offers many avenues for interpretation – which I think is always a bonus for the reader and the writer. πŸ™‚ Seems a bit ominous at the end to me, which I like…

  4. Anne says:

    Good job! xoxo I like it.

  5. jmmcdowell says:

    At first I wondered if the second part would be about the man who makes the decision whether the first man “won and escaped.” But it looks like you went another direction. Isn’t it interesting how poems can take so many shapes, depending on how one interprets them?

    • Elliot says:

      Yes I like that aspect of poetry. In a short form it is often ambiguous and more open to interpretation, and thus attempting it, invites you to come up with that. Or me any way πŸ™‚

  6. DyingNote says:

    Particularly loved the last 3 lines.

    The poem set me off on a Phish listening trip, reminding me as it did of Round Room, one of the band’s lesser regarded works, and then on to whatever music I have of Phish

  7. I second Carrie on the claustrophobia. I also feel anxious about what comes next. πŸ™‚

  8. Smaktakula says:

    I like the imagery in this poem, specifically the three different depictions of “a man in a room.” And as you know, I’m fond of many writing exercises. I think the ones which require the writer to do more with less (in this case, less time) are the best.

    • Elliot says:

      I think those exercises are the most enjoyable also, and therefore, in a sense, the most rewarding.

      I’m not sure about is poem though, I’ll have to revisit it in a few weeks and see what I think then.

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