The Monday Mess – Mysteries of Monday revealed – 12 Nov 2012

(Image courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art)

Once upon a time a music fan called Elliot, would look forward to Mondays because that was the day new music came out. He could wander down the local music store, and browse the new single and album releases. It was fun, at least for a music fan. Now most of these stores have closed, and he moved to the US where for seemingly inexplicable reasons, music comes out on a Tuesday. Monday you have a lot to answer for. Sadly that is not your only crime. I believe you are responsible for the following mysteries:

    • Why Mondays are depressing – Because it is the start of the working week for most people. Time stuck in an office, time stuck in a factory, time stuck in a shop, time stuck some place. See where I’m going? Sure you pay the bills, but wouldn’t you much rather be at home crashed out on the couch eating chocolate and watching the best that cable tv has to offer? For my writing friends, you can replace that last bit about the couch with “sat at a desk, staring at a laptop screen, tapping away at the keys worrying about word counts”.
    • Why Monday is too tired – You spend weekend with your family or friends, or doing something interesting or fun, trying to put off the fact that Monday is coming. You expend too much energy, and / or get too little sleep. Or your couple of days on the sofa is over. Time to get up and do something again. But you just don’t want to…
    • Why Monday is too long to the weekend – Assuming you work the standard Monday to Friday, or maybe even including Saturday, Monday is the furthest point from your time off doing something you want to. Unless you prefer being at work to being not at work, in which case, you need to take a serious look at your life.
    • Why monday is responsible for your life disappearing – Because you spend all week waiting for the week to fly by so you can enjoy the weekend. Then the weekend moves even faster. So the cycle starts again. Before you know it, you woke up in March thinking it will be Easter soon, and actually its almost Christmas. Your child, just a few months old is now almost two. You are wondering where your life has gone. Then it’s Monday and you want to see the weekend again.

You would think I don’t like my job wouldn’t you? Actually it is not bad, but would I still rather be at home with wifey and child? Answer: Watch out for Monday. If you look over your right shoulder, it is there at the back somewhere sniggering at you.

Nonet, Tanka? This week “Monday” in three Haiku

Poke me in the eye
or prod me with a sharp stick
please not be Monday

Where once we were young
we were never growing old
then Monday did come

The finger beckons
new musical gift for me
lost in sands of time

Although on the other hand, it does bring with it the Monday mess.

Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: Quincunx.

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The Monday Mess – The having a day off, sort of, post – 29 Oct 2012

Yup, that’s right, you read it correctly. I’m having the day off in a blogging sense. Well sort of. I have other things to do this weekend. I’m keeping the post short. Here is a nonet about it. Don’t worry, you will be quickly on your way:

(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

“Nonet” to you, lets get on with it, to me:

One final time, I’m too lazy to delete it, Nonet = Nine lines, first line with nine syllables and dropping a syllable each line until the final ninth line has only one. The prompt, see above:

Yeah, whatever! Nothing much to say

time is short, having off today

best not stick around for long

the door will soon be closed

bye bye monday mess

don’t get attached

it’s only

a day

off

So with that, I’m signing off.

Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: Qanat.

The Monday Mess – My wife the nice character killer – 22 Oct 2012

YupMonday again and what better time than now to discuss a problem. Why monday instead of um, Friday? Because I can, and this is the Monday mess. And this is a mess. A mess of unusual proportions.

See I love my wife, as you might hope and expect, but pssst, quiet now, she has a little problem. See it all started a few months ago…

You better watch out.
(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

One sunday evening we settled down to a sunday drama show, in this instance the brilliant “Breaking Bad”. There was a particular character that she was very fond of. I don’t want to name the character, for possible spoiler reasons for anyone who hasn’t seen the latest season yet (see I’m good that way). But let us just say now, that said character did not make it to the end of the season. Was my wife impressed, no. Does a character you like end up being killed off? From time to time yes (for me, Michael Pitt’s character in last seasons “Boardwalk Empire”, which annoys me so much I break my spoiler rule), so no big deal. Most of the time.

Fast forward to um, perhaps a week or so later (but it might have been the next day), and watching “Hell on wheels”. There is another character my wife is growing fond of. The show is set in the “Old West”, surely not much can happen there right? So what happens? The character takes gets captured for crimes committed and has to take a bullet as punishment. And that is the end of that. Hmm, that seems a bit of a coincidence. Oh well never mind.  There is another character in the same show she can like instead. A loveable Irish chap (well he was a racist thug in the first season, but season 2 seems to have conveniently forgotten that, so now he is likeable). And what happens to him? No sooner than my wife starts liking him, then he kills himself. That’s right, he did it to himself. I don’t think he knew my wife liked him, I think in the show it was for a separate reason. At least I think.

Oh and if you watch the recent “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” don’t get too attached to that Gorilla. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Well never mind “The Walking dead” is back. My wife likes Hershel. Nothing can happen to him in a show like this right? Well something did. Actually at the time of writing, he is still alive. But for how much longer? Now I’m worried for the characters I like in other shows. What if my wife starts liking them too?

“Nonet” or not Nonet? That is the question. And below, the answer:

Last weeks one was interesting, so here is another attempt. Nonet = Nine lines, first line with nine syllables and dropping a syllable each line until the final ninth line has only one. The prompt, see above:

Once upon a time, far far away

a nice character came to be

bringing much joy to many

till the reaper appeared

my wife’s smiling face

Don’t get attached

that one will

end up

dead

We’ve come to an agreement now. My wife will be shut in the closet whilst a show I like is on. And no putting your ear to the door either.

Good job my wife has a sense of humour. Love you Mrs Brainsplats 🙂

Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: aberrant .

The Monday Mess – 15 Oct 2012

Boom! This Monday, “My week in Haiku” is taking a break in favour of a this similar but new thing which I shall call for now “The Monday mess“. I’m calling it this so I can chuck a bit of whatever in. Why the change? Because I am a bit bored of the other thing and I fancied a change. “The Monday mess” can be a bit of whatever I want to throw in, and nothing specific. Writing without boundaries? Yeah right, so in the spirit of the old thing, let’s start with a bit of news:

Umm, cannot think of much actually… Umm I got a new iPad cover with bluetooth keyboard. It is fab for typing stuff with, or quicker than me on the screen anyway, and um….

moving swiftly on then…

Three things that ought to be simple, but are actually difficult to explain:

  1. There is a couple who live further up our street who share the same first name. Not literally of course, one doesn’t borrow it when a friend pops round and wants to address them. It is merely the same first name. That must have made it easy to remember when they met. The name could be Lesley. It isn’t, but for these purposes let’s assume it is. The question is, how come when we’re in our house and I see them walking down the street, I can only remember one of their names? I say to my wife, “there is Lesley and whatever his wife’s called”. She replies “That’s Lesley. They are both called Lesley. I wonder if they call each other Les and Lesley?”. I go get a snack instead of replying, and forget about it until next time.
  2. How is it that when I type on the ipad screen, I seem to grow an extra pair of thumbs? They’re not even any use. I can’t climb trees of anything with them. They just stop me typing quickly. I had to get a bluetooth keyboard for typing blog stuff. What is the point of those? And why does the width of my fingers increase when typing on the iPhone screen?
  3. White socks. Um why do far two many American men wear white socks with, you know, everything. Black trousers, great. White socks, check. Why do it? Who knows. Do their women not tell them they are not color coordinated like mine does. Or do they ignore them? – Sunny day, lets wear some shorts. How about some nice white socks to cover your legs with. Oh man, what is this country coming to?

If you see this thing, avoid it…
(image from morgueFile – click to be taken there)

Without Haiku there is instead “Nonet”:

Which I borrowed for an attempt from my good friend Writers Digest. Nine lines, first line with nine syllables and dropping a syllable each line until the final ninth line has only one. Well it has got to be worth a go. And for that I need a prompt. In a stupid attempt to look clever, I am going to use the three things mentioned above. Ho hum, so here we go:

I see, but do not know, two Leslies

as I thumb at my ipad’s keys

What is his name? What is hers?

Why can I not type it?

or decipher it?

Perhaps the shorts

Green. But socks

they are

white!

Yup, and that is it. Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: Is taking the day off. No it isn’t try – roustabout.

My week in haiku and other assorted nonsense – 08 Oct 2012

(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

This weeks bit of news to begin with:

Umm, projects moving very slowly right now, i.e. not at all. Blogging time, getting some in. Methinks I really need Scrivener to appear on the iPad.

So, this Mondays “review of the week” prompts are:
  • Gas Prices (Haiku)– Gas prices shot up in Southern California, nearly 50 cents a gallon overnight in some places on thursday. Cue scenes of long lines at the gas pumps, chaos, how will people live their lives. Well it still isn’t anywhere close to what it costs in the UK where there is a lot more tax on it, so relatively speaking, what is the big deal. Anyone would think people’s children were being stolen.
  • Crayon eating (Haiku) – I’m sure this happens to every parent, but whilst my boy was using his crayons, and my wife was in the next room (but still keeping an eye), he chose this as the moment to try eating some. He’s getting sneaky now, and chooses his moments well. For my wife it took 25 minutes to get all the pieces from his mouth..
  • Boundaries (Tanka) – I wrote a post about this last week. I suppose I am not finished yet.

So here we go:

Stop! Put up your hands

give me all of your money

I am gas prices

Hmm, don’t like this one. I could have done with more verses.

Red. Licky bite, bite

got to try these wax crayons

ease my back teeth through

Hmm again I feel I could have done with more. Maybe this should have been a Tanka, rather than Haiku

Where are boundaries?

yet you see or not do see

think that you are free

to write unbound, open mind

but it’s all a state of mind

For my view on this, you should really read the prior post.

This section is going to sometimes be “Bonus Haiku” (see last mondays post) i.e. A bit ruder or more adult haiku, OR a rant about something, or maybe an amusing video.

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A short rant for this week on Carmageddon II:

The local LA news stations discussed this like it was a major world event. It was headline news. The lead story. It was on the Huffington Post. This really affected people. So here is what you need to know. Last weekend a 10 mile section of the 405 freeway near Los Angeles was closed down for the weekend, because of some maintenance issue, or construction issue, or to retrieve numerous abandoned car tyres and car bumpers. I forget which. But anyway, it was closed last weekend, a whole 10 miles of it. Yup, that’s right. Just 10 miles. Anyone new to the area would think the world was ending. Websites published handy (by which I mean obvious and pointless, or useful for morons) hints such as these five here. People were warned to stay away from the area, which I presume to mean if you cannot read signs. Was it all necessary? No. Warnings yes, good information for people. Lead News story? No, who cares? It was closed on a weekend. Choose a different route if you need to go that way. It is not that big a deal. Carmageddon II? Er… a big fat no. People stayed away. Nothing was busy. It didn’t merit the news coverage, even on an otherwise slow weekend.

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What I learned this weekend

  • People are very precious about gas prices, and less so about the harmful effects it has on the planet you live on, and the future it gives your children. The car burning gas I mean, not the price of it.
  • The boy cannot use crayons unsupervised!
  • The difference between Medicare and Medicaid (best not to ask).

The next post will likely be friday. Have a nice week.

Lexicon word of the day: autarky.

My week in haiku and other assorted nonsense – 01 Oct 2012

(click to view on Amazon)

This weeks bit of news to begin with:

I got some blogging time in last week. Maybe not masses of reading time with it, and not much project time either, but it is a start. Also the boy recovered well last week and is back to normal now. That is one fun thing at the moment, the time we spend together when I get home from work (and of course with my wife after that).

So, this Mondays “review of the week” prompts are:

  • Little blue Truck– At my boys bed time we usually read him some books. Toddler books are not the longest, so four a night in 10 minutes plus, is an easy target to hit. one of my favorites is “The little blue truck”.We bought our boy the follow up this weekend, (Little blue truck visits the city) along with a bunch of other books.
  • Fifa 13 (Haiku) – I’m not someone who plays a lot of console games, but I do like Fifa when I do. This week I got the new Fifa 13 (which was out on tuesday here in the US, and on friday in the UK). I think it added over 40% to its opening days sales in the US. Anyway, from what I have played so far, and it isn’t a lot, a lot more of the subtleties have been worked on and improved. It is more fluid, players make more mistakes with control, but not to the level where it is annoying, it actually adds to it. The more skilful players can get more of those moments over a second or two where they can do something a little extra to open a game up, but again not to the extent where it is too unrealistic and detracts. The physical system is improved and affects goalkeepers too. Player movements (the runs they make) are more intelligent. So far it seems a very good game.
  • Photo Stream (Tanka) – For those with an IOS device, iPhone, iPad, Mac, photostream is the cloud saving device to share photos over your ios devices. the new update brought sharing so you can easily share streams with family or friends. It is great, I can take a few pictures of my son, share the photostream with my mum, and when she wants, she can take the pictures. No hassles with file sizes such as when emailing of texting. A good service.

So here we go:

Daddy likes it best

but does the boy, not enjoy

the little blue truck?

For me I like the little rhymes and I love the style of the imagery.

Goal, Fifa 13

Not on my watch, or is it

fun and frustration

Seriously, or not? I do like playing this game, perhaps because I only sporadically get to do it.

How is it that we

see the world and that in it?

With what do you share

all the things that you can see?

made easy with photo stream

ok, that one sounds like an Apple commercial or sorts. Photo Stream is good, and references my post a week ago, where I mentioned using tech in lots of useful ways.

This section is going to sometimes be “Bonus Haiku” (see last mondays post) i.e. A bit ruder or more adult haiku, OR a rant about something, or maybe an amusing video.

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A short video for this week. In the spirit of the Wheel of Fortune one from last week, this one not as funny, but still good. If you do like to laugh at someone placing their foot in mouth, feel free to watch:

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What I learned this weekend

  • I was right about the LFC play coming together. They won midweek in the cup, and got their first league win of the season in a comfortable and not even flattering 5 – 2 win.
  • Thoughts are turning to replacing the car I use to get to work in, now I’m in it a lot more, and even though I likely won’t change it until the end of the year, or early next.
  • I feel like I’m in a non creative phase at the moment.
  • My son likes the show “In the night garden“, but it sure is annoying to listen to as an adult.

The next post will likely be friday. Have a nice week.

Lexicon word of the day: subterranean.

My week in haiku and other assorted nonsense – 24 Sep 2012

(Image Source: Microsoft Clip art)

This weeks bit of news to begin with:

So I am back. Back to the blog, in some capacity at least. In what capacity, only time (and experience, so er, two things then) will tell. I’m now with shiny new iPad, which is useful now I am not at home as much. It is a fine thing.

 At the time of writing (Sunday) I am debating whether to start back up posting again or leave it another week. If you are reading this then I guess I went for the post. The real debate is not to continue blogging, as I enjoy the blog, but how much. At the moment despite the new tech, I still have less time, and some of it needs to go on project work. For the moment that needs to be priority over the blog. So I think I shall aim for two posts a week, with maybe more depending on time and what I have in the “library”.

So, this Mondays “review of the week” prompts are:

  • The Virus (Haiku)– also returning (for my son anyway). Little guy seems to have susceptibility to colds / coughs settling on his chest. Potential asthma problem? Don’t know yet, but hopefully not.
  • Hot, hot heat (Haiku) – Not the band but the ongoing summer. Nearly the end of September and still it is hot in these parts.
  •  iPad and iPhone 5 (Tanka)– ok from time to time I am a tech geek. Not only a new iPad but the “blisteringly fast” 4g/lte on the iphone5. Where I live, the lte coverage is good, so the thing is pretty fast. On pre-order day for the latter, my son usefully woke me up early that morning, so with free time…

So here we go:

Cough, wheezy virus

making a home in his chest

better move out soon

He is in good spirits though and his loss of appetite was only a day or two.

Oh for rain showers

Let garden grow, cool us down

just small bit cooler

Seriously, a bit cooler will still be warm, and shorts weather, it doesn’t need to be this hot. On the other hand, check out that smog. Hmm…

Technology man

do you need all those gadgets?

do they rule your life?

they make you the man you are?

these days the answer is … yes

they are certainly an integral way to the way I run my life right now, and truth be told, to the job I do, to some extent anyway.

This section is going to sometimes be “Bonus Haiku” (see last mondays post) i.e. A bit ruder or more adult haiku, OR a rant about something, or maybe an amusing video.

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A short video for this week. Not a new one, but don’t worry, it is a short one (18 seconds), and a funny, but toe cringing one, from the “Wheel of Fortune” in the US:

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What I learned this weekend

  • LFC still haven’t won in the league having their worst start in “oh a long, long, time”. But they are playing some good stuff, and the results will only be a matter of time. The effort against Man Utd on sunday was immense.
  • I use technology a lot, and in many ways I would not have thought of even five years ago.

The next post may be wednesday, or maybe friday, check back and see. Have a nice week.

Lexicon word of the day: Loquacious.