The Monday Mess – Odd English slang part 1 – 26 Nov 2012

Once upon a time I lived in a quaint old place, old enough to have history. The island has a surprising amount of different regional accents, given the size of it, most likely somewhat unintelligible to your average American who is more tuned into simple, easy to understand terms, like Hamburger, Cola, and taxes. Anyhoo, I digress, said place has some interesting slang terms which might sound a bit odd if you’ve never heard them before. Here is a selection:

But what does it mean?
(Click to see)

  • how’s your father – Something I heard my old man say a few times when I was younger, and he was referring to other people. Well hopefully not my mother and him. It means getting your leg over, or er, giving her one, you know, sex. According to the Urban Dictionary its origin can be traced back to several places, but it is basically about covering up the deed with polite language. I would often hear it as a teen in the context of “I think they went for a bit of how’s your father”.
  • “getting your leg over – See above. It’s about having your way with a lady. The phrasing would imply more that it is for a male conversation.
  • “feel a right tit” – Not literally to feel a woman’s right breast, which was once taken that way when I used it to comment on Mr Faulkner’s blog. Or on this T-shirt link here. It is more along the lines of “I felt like a complete idiot” or more slang like “I felt a right idiot”.
  • Taking a slash – Not whipping your knife out, and thrusting it across a smooth surface causing a tear, but actually to whip something else out, no thrusting required, in order to relieve oneself. Yes it means you are off to urinate.
  • “bloody nora” – is one I still like a lot now. Where I grew up you would sometimes hear the variation “Chuffing Nora“. It is used in a situation where something bad is happening but not panic / really awful bad. Like a pile of papers you have stood up three times, slides down again. You deal with it in a relative calmness, like the whole thing is a joke, hence “bloody nora”. You could also use it when someone is asking you to do something for the 15th time as a way to register some annoyance, without making it a big deal, and more of a joke. An interesting explanation on the potential origins of the phrase can be found here.

And this being monday I have to try cram it into some form of poetry. This week Nonet:

Bloody nora! I felt a right tit

Looked at her, said How’s your father?

she said he’s in hospital

that aint good then, said I

no leg over then

so off I went

to take a

big long

slash

And that concludes a short story of a caring individual. Well I crammed all the phrases in so “jobs a good un”

Have a nice week, and tune in somewhen further down it for the next brainsplats blog post.

Lexicon word of the day: ameliorate.

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“The experiment” and the makings of a popular post – part 2

This is not me. I use a laptop, not a blackboard. (Image from freelanceswitch.com)

I should start this post with stating that this is not a conclusion / results post to  “The search phrase”experiment and what makes a popular blog post“, but a follow up to capture some additional search phrases, and some points I missed. I was going to post this earlier in the week but it went against my current reduced blogging schedule. Anyhoo, first, the points I missed. In the original post I covered some thoughts on what made a popular post, what draws in “likes” and “comments”, and what doesn’t. After some kind reader comments on the original post, these are some points I missed:

  • Posts about writing or blogging tend to draw in more comments from bloggers (we all have writing in common).
  • Longer posts tend to be more likely to not to get read properly, and more likely skimmed through. A candidate for “likes” over “Comments”.
  • Posts with humour, if you get it right and it is humorous, tend to draw in more comments. People always like to comment on something that makes them laugh or happy.
  • Posts with humour might not catch the eye of many new readers unless about something that catches their eye, but any that do read it will likely contribute in some way, or begin to follow your blog.
  • Posts about blogging and it’s relationship with social media e.g. facebook, might also prove popular as it is something many people have in common and is somewhat interactive to varying degrees.

“The Experiment” –  part 2

In the previous post it occurred to me that in choosing popular search terms that this might not actually be that useful in drawing in random readers via search engines, purely because they are popular. That is to say, there are plenty of other sites covering the same thing, are therefore competition in that sense, and probably have better search optimisation than an amateur like me. I shall get back to that point in the conclusion post. In the meantime, here is a second section of seemingly random search topics with added brainsplats nonsense, this time not based on popular searches giving the blog post i.e. this blog post, a different position in the web mess. I’m looking at “advertising slogans”, “a sex slang quiz”, “related search terms” and “the 15 most popular blogs”. They may be popular subjects anyway. What do you think?

advertising rhubarb

where we consider a selection of products via the advertising guff.

  • Finger lickin Good – (KFC), although this is a company that offers a “banquet” which is delivered in a bucket. Who’s idea of a banquet is that?
  • Have a break, have a Kit Kat – Hmm, actually I fancy one of those now.
  • They’rrrre GR-R-REAT – (Frosties) – If you like sugary milk and hyperactive kids.
  • You got chocolate in my peanut butter! (Reeses Peanut butter cups) – And you look like sh*t scrapped out of a babies diaper.
  • Now you’re eating! (Pizza Hut) – Eating elsewhere?
  • The power of Dreams (Honda) – Making a change from strange dreams about an apocalypse, which I sometimes have.
  • Snap! Crackle! Pop! (Rice Crispies) – Just add chocolate to make childs cake, and remove the Snap, Crackle and Pop.
  • Where’s the Beef (Wendys) – Presumably elsewhere?
  • The greatest freedom is to believe in yourself (Britney Spears scenty thing) – Which is one of those phrases that sounds impressive, but doesn’t appear to mean anything when you think a little more about it.
  • It’s Miller time! (Miller) – When you cannot get any decent beer for a party, and it is on a special price offer.
  • King of Beers (Budweiser) – See above. This might be king in a race of two.

sex phrases

The below section contains a quiz where you can “guess what the naughty slang word(s) mean”. If you are offended by naughty words, then jump over the dotted section below.

—————————————————————————-

So guess what the following words refer to. Answers are below.

  1. Bung Hole
  2. bearded clam, bearded lady
  3. maidenhead
  4. jism
  5. wearing the rag
  6. gonads
  7. french art
  8. french letter
  9. pocket pool
  10. to have the banana peeled
So if you get them all correct you may well be a pervert, but either way you win a an opportunity to click on this link here. – Don’t be clicking on it otherwise.
Answers:
  1. anus
  2. vagina
  3. hymen
  4. semen
  5. menstruation
  6. testicles
  7. cunnilingus
  8. condom
  9. masturbation
  10. sexual intercourse
—————————————————————————-

Typing “Search engine optimisation” into google

I’m a novice at this so I’m not going to blog much on this subject other than to mention when I typed “blog search engine optimisation” into Google, I noted the following were related search terms, i.e. google would group this search into the same area as the following (click on “related search terms” and you shall see what I mean):

popular blog search lyrics – popular blog search phrases – popular blog search dictionary – popular blog search text – popular blog search names – best blog search words – good blog search words – favorite blog search words – unique blog search words – new blog search words

Top 15 Most popular blogs:

I also wondered what the current most popular blogs are (not specifically wordpress, just blogs in general). How many do you know? I’ve never heard of several of them, although I would recommend Boing Boing. Data derived from here http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/blogs. All these seem to be a bit larger than the average blog like this one. But then these are the most popular ones.

  1. HuffingtonPost
  2. TMZ
  3. BusinessInsider
  4. engadget
  5. PerezHilton
  6. Gizmodo
  7. Mashable
  8.  TechCrunch
  9. Gawker
  10. lifehacker
  11. The Daily Beast
  12. SmashingMagazine
  13. FailBlog
  14. Kotaku
  15. boingboing

Number 5? Really?

And that concludes the experimental nonsense for this post. Conclusions will be coming up in a future post.

Lexicon word of the day: ideate.